Ay, ay, ay! 2015 kicked my butt! After the holidays were over, I couldn’t do much of anything. I had no energy, no motivation, no want to do anything whatsoever. I went into hibernation and much like my hairy animal counterpart, it took all winter for me to wake up. I think I needed it.
Now, my waking mind is wandering and it’s been good. I’m coming to some realizations that for the first time in my life, I’m ready to accept and ready to let go of. I’m an introvert. I think a lot. I know the things I do that are self-defeating, but I’ve never done anything in the past to change those things. Why? I don’t know. I always felt blocked, felt like even if I really wanted to… I couldn’t.
What changed? Nothing really, except perhaps my perception of where I am now. I figure if I’m lucky, I’ve lived about 1/2 of my life span. If I follow in the footsteps of my family, well… I may only have a good 20 years left. Anyways, what this really leads me to, is that life is precious and short and I can’t spend the rest of my life, regardless of how much time I have left, living in “fear.”
I’ve always taken the safe path. I’ve never been a risk taker. While my choices have gained me some accomplishments, I’ve never really achieved anything I thought was impossible. I’ve always set myself up to reach my goals. I only go for the things that I know, I’ll have success in. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? No, not really, but in some ways, it’s kept me mediocre. Blah. Invisible. Safe.
Where’s the fun in that?
So, lately I’ve been thinking that I have to release my fears and just go with the flow. I need to trust. I’ve been through some pretty tough times and I’ve survived. I’m a little tattered around the edges, but I’m better for it. So what do I have to fear? Well… actually plenty if I go with my analytical mind. But, if I learn to trust my heart and listen… then nothing. There’s nothing to fear.
Why did I title this post Confirmations? Because since this “letting go of fear” has been churning through my mind, I’ve been receiving confirming messages that tell me, I’m on the right path. I’m hearing the Universe again and it feels sooo good. I can see the light again and I’m looking forward to what living fearlessly will be like.
This is one of the confirmations that came to me. Anita Moorjani. Wow!