About nine years ago, after my dad passed away… I went through a shift. Like everyone else that has lost a loved one, I experienced so many emotions. I was on a roller coaster for awhile. But towards the end of it, what I began to realize was that something inside me was opening up. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I’m guessing that in my grief and eventual surrender, I made room for light to come in. Once I accepted this, I actually found comfort in the situation. I began to understand that death didn’t mean an end. It was actually a beginning or a return to something beautiful. My dad isn’t gone. His spirit lives.
My roller-coaster was about a 3-year ride. I wasn’t always sad. There were times I was happy and thought I’d gotten past my mourning, but then something (and it could have been anything) and I would suddenly start crying. As days went on, I actually felt a physical pain in my chest. I went to doctors, but there was nothing wrong with me physically. I realized that my hurt was not physical, but spiritual. I needed a different expert. I needed a Lightworker – a healer.
After my healing, I had this undeniable want to write things down. There was so much going through my mind that the only way, I could relieve myself from overwhelm was to write. All the stuff I wrote turned into a book. What?! Yeah! A book! I’m a self-published author and what’s even better is that my little book has gotten positive reviews. It’s made a difference with some people and I couldn’t ask for more.
I continued my studies into spirituality. My interests geared towards metaphysics and what a lot of people consider “New Age.” Some people even say, “woo-woo.” That didn’t deter me. For once in my life, the things I read about spirituality connected with me and I felt closer to God than I ever have growing up in a Catholic family. It was an amazing time for me. I felt like I was growing again. I was learning again. I was excited about something. But then… the fire began to fade. I studied less. I read less. And although my interest never went away, I no longer gave my seeking the time it needed.
Fast forward a few more years and we’re now in 2018. Lately, I’ve been feeling that nudge again. It’s not coming on as strong as before. In fact most days, I feel blocked. I feel like there’s something trying to reach my mind, but it can’t get a foothold. But, there’s something there… In quiet moments, I think about gardening. (I don’t garden.) I want to go outside. (I don’t like being outside). It’s weird, you know. To get these inclinations for things you normally wouldn’t do. I started paying attention and soon it was “don’t park there… keep going.” And I find the best spot. Little things. Coincidental? No. I don’t think so. There’s a part of me that’s connecting again and I want that part to grow and to thrive.
I’m not sure what happened and why I fell away from my earlier studies, but I’m back and I’m willing to start over. Why? Cause it feels good and it feels right.
More recently, I found a group on Facebook — The Lightworker’s Lab and it’s been a blessing. I am surrounded by folks who have gone through what I’m about to step into. They are full of love, kindness and generosity. They are Lightworkers and it has been awesome.
Through some of the shared messages (channeled), I’m beginning to feel myself open up again. But I still have a lot of work to do to keep myself open. Bad habits want to take over and shut things down. It’s taking a lot of awareness and mindfulness and in a busy day, moment, life; awareness and mindfulness are usually the first to go.
Don’t be surprised if the flavor of my posts begin to change as I learn more…
Love, light, and joy,
Mignon
Photo by Josh Boot on Unsplash
