It’s been a few months since I last posted. I went into my quiet space during the winter months, which is typical for me. The hubster jokes and says I must have a been a bear in a past life.
Well… since I woke up from my hibernation, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. For the new year, I told myself that I would have three priorities: family, spirituality, and creative pursuits.
So far so good. I’ve actually had two spiritual readings since the beginning of the year from two different, but equally amazing women. I consider them both to be teachers in my spiritual journey. Each one brought things I need to work on, not only to strengthen my seeking, but to also be able to balance family, and personal demands.
I don’t know about you, but trying to be zen when life demands so much, is not easy. I always felt behind the race, but with no end in sight. Like I couldn’t even finish, before another track was put in front of me. As you can imagine, this type of living is exhausting. I was pretty much on automatic just to get done, whatever needed to get done.
I got stuff done and that’s a good thing. BUT and more importantly, something still felt missing. My family life and spiritual life were somehow not melding. Weird, right? In my mind these two go hand-in-hand, but in my situation they weren’t coming together, and things felt at odds. Things were fine at home. It was really more of an internal struggle to find that thing, without really knowing what the thing is.
I was getting nudges. First I ignored it. For a long time too. But I finally listened and I’m so glad I did. I booked readings, and it has helped so much. With their guidance, I’m able to make the tweaks to make sure my time with my family is good, but that I’m also getting what I need from my spiritual needs. It’s taken some work. I’m still working on A LOT of things, but small changes is what works for me. It’ll take time, but that’s okay. What’s been the best part of readings? Learning to pay attention with my heart and not always my mind. You see these teachers both told me I needed to acknowledge my feelings. Trust in my heart, which has been the opposite of how I do things. I’ve always trusted my mind more than my heart. I think it’s a defense mechanism I developed from childhood.
Another great thing about paying attention with my heart? Things, little things are synchronizing, and I see it! It’s awesome. It’s like having little ‘random’ wins when you least expect it. Heart feeds our intuition. That’s where it lives.
I wanted to check in, in this space because I’m getting another nudge. Again, I was trying to ignore it, but it’s not going away. What am I getting now? A nudge towards activity. Yes! Activity in the form of gardening. OMG and LOL! I’m laughing because I am the worst gardener ever. I kill everything. I’ve killed a cactus for crying-out-loud. But, hey, the nudges are not going away. It’s actually getting stronger. I don’t know why. But I can’t ignore it anymore. Maybe this is for the creativity part of my priorities. I’ve hit a slump in that area. The Universe delivers 🙂
What I know is this. I’m meditating now. I don’t know whether I’m doing it right, but it doesn’t matter. I’m learning to pay attention to my feelings. Sometimes, I feel like a hot-mess, but that’s okay. I’m learning to step back and give space to my kids. I’m a helicopter mom, giving them space is hard! LOL! I’m learning to trust. Small wins ARE happening and it’s nice! I guess the lesson in this post is that, even if you have no clue what to do, just do something. You’ve got a little voice that will lead you, if you just let it. Things will work out.
I’m looking forward to the prospect of something magical happening when I get better at listening to these nudges. Intuition. Divine guidance, right? Angels and spirit guides are always with us.
Where would it lead me?
What would I accomplish?
What would I discover?
It piques my curiosity and that feels GOOD.
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Photo by Flash Alexander on Unsplash
